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5 Reasons I Loathe Our Geese

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I realize that it sounds silly to hate these seemingly innocuous creatures, but if you’ve ever had a goose quacking outside of your room at 2am, you know what I mean.

The offending creatures.

The offending creatures.

  1. There is goose shit absolutely everywhere. The kitchen & inside the cabins have only been saved because we have gates and doors to keep them out. I’ve stepped in dozens of piles of shit though, so don’t worry about my having missed out on that humdinger of a time.
  2. These particular geese travel in a pack of four, and I swear they behave exactly like adolescent boys. For some reason I get a New Jersey-sounding accent when I yell at them, which weirds me out and seems to do absolutely nothing for them. Also, I’ve never been to New Jersey.
  3. They appear to have no purpose at all on the farm, beyond shitting on the walkways and squawking at 2am. I hear that sometimes they attack people, but I’ve been spared of that nonsense thus far.
  4. They are so old that even if I flew into a murderous rage and wiped their souls from the plane of the living, their meat would be too tough to eat & enjoy.
  5. One of them may actually be a duck.

 

Moral of the story is, don’t let the big geese get you down, as long as you have a roof over your head when it rains, and they don’t.

Pendejos.

Pendejos.

Suckers.

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