Days sick: 0
Days danced: 0
This has not been my favorite month of the year, but it has probably been my most productive in terms of home life— we finally moved! Along with all the stresses of that, we got a puppy (Finnley!) and I prepared to take a lot of tests of the coming month.
Sometimes when I’m writing these updates, I think about the fact that when I was 19 and first started writing these, I thought of “being sick” as having a cold or food poisoning. The world of autoimmune conditions and food intolerances was totally foreign to me, and honestly, I thought that most of the people with “intolerances” must be narcissists trying to force restaurants to conform to their fad diet’s strict requirements. Now that I’ve been going through my own struggle with it, I realize how naïve and sheltered my life had been before then.
Just in the last 30 days, I’ve packed up and moved an entire apartment across town, picked up a puppy from a different state, started getting vaccinated, and had more emotional ups & downs than most people go through in a rough year. The worst isn’t over yet, either. I’m still not really sure what’s going on with me, but I have a theory about stress worsening some intense estrogen dominance and overactive cortisol, which will hopefully be revealed over the course of my daily tests in May.
I’d describe the first two-thirds of the month as really super emotional with some serious IBS and other difficult symptoms. I had to use a lot of cannabis, except when I couldn’t & my only release was blubbering tears. I finally decided to go back on the low histamine diet, and for a few days in the middle even I felt pretty normal, going all of my supplements for three full days before a necessary test. I was so worried about it, though, that I stayed with my parents for two full days.
It was quite relaxing to be home; like a vacation in that there were always things to do, food was included, and I always had someone to drive me around. And did I mention the hugs?! Sometimes all you need is some time with your mom & a good cry. That’s not to say that staying low histamine has been easy by any means… by the end of this month, I’d had six doctor’s appointments, several coping mechanisms for my mood swings, and an unhealthy dose of fear about spending most of May with no supportive or detox meds.
But I’ll get through it. I’ll work through it. I always do.